AI executives may be too far removed to build for ordinary people

A Silicon Valley executive recently described using an AI app to understand her daughter’s interests and plan family activities. The episode drew criticism not because AI cannot help with logistics, but because the story made a private family relationship sound like a problem for software to solve. That gap matters as companies pitch AI not just as a tool, but as a substitute for human attention and connection.

When family life becomes a use case

Mayer said she was testing a prototype called Dazzle, not asking it to explain who her daughter was. The app surfaced photos of what she called “forgotten kindergarten projects,” including a “snake disarmer” and a “sand cat playground.” She said they showed her daughter’s creativity and love of animals.

But in the same interview, Mayer described using the app to take on the mental work of choosing a birthday-party theme, arranging a playdate, booking family activities on vacation and picking a Halloween costume. She also imagined her assistant coordinating plans with her husband’s AI assistant. Asked whether a future in which AI plans everything might feel bleak, she said she had not thought about it.

The distinction between testing a prototype and handing over family logistics is real. Still, the public reaction suggests that people hear a broader claim: that AI can improve relationships by making them easier to manage.

Sam Altman has made a related argument. Last year, he told late-night host Jimmy Fallon, a Bored Ape owner, that he could not imagine raising a newborn without ChatGPT. Months later, he suggested on X that ChatGPT Work could create a podcast about children’s upcoming birthdays or soccer games, explaining their interests. Critics pushed back: “What if you just talked to your kids?”

The distance between promise and public feeling

This is not just a dispute over one executive’s parenting choices. Pew Research Center found that 50% of US adults think AI will weaken people’s ability to form meaningful relationships. Just 5% think it will make those connections easier.

Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg has described a future in which AI helps meet social needs. Last year, he said in a podcast that the average American has fewer than three friends they truly consider friends, while he estimated people need around 15. He argued that many want more connection and closeness than they currently have.

Zuckerberg has also suggested that it may become more socially acceptable to rely on AI for emotional needs, including AI therapists or romantic partners. In-person interaction is often better when available, he said, but people frequently feel lonelier than they would like. He then pointed to increasingly realistic virtual AI avatars.

There is a tension here: Meta is working to make AI companions feel more human, while billions of people already use its platforms to connect with one another. The announcement of more realistic avatars says less about whether AI can meet emotional needs than about which kind of connection the company is choosing to build.

Efficiency is not the point of a relationship

Tech culture prizes efficiency, including in areas that are not naturally reducible to optimization. People use health trackers to tune their sleep and take unregulated peptide mixtures in pursuit of greater productivity. That mindset can make it tempting to treat a birthday, a conversation or a friendship as another task to streamline.

I think that is where these AI pitches misread the audience. Planning can be tedious, and software can help with it. But the effort involved in knowing a child, listening to a friend or showing up for someone is not merely friction to remove. It is part of what makes the relationship matter.

The question missing from these announcements is not whether AI can suggest a party theme or simulate companionship. It is what gets lost when convenience becomes the measure of a good relationship. A system that makes connection easier to schedule may still leave people with less of the attention that makes connection real.